Can you think of a time when you did or said something that made you cringe inside or want to slap your head? I don’t usually have to think too far back to find one of those moments. Two really stand out in my mind this year. In one, I got caught up in my lunch hour in reading a novel and completely forgot my brand new client sitting in the waiting room. This was totally an ADHD moment, but he didn’t know that. I cannot tell you how awful I felt. I was fortunate; he gave me another chance and things went really well thereafter. And then there was another time when I managed to lock myself out of my office 5 minutes before yet another new client was due to arrive. (Yes, there does seem to be a theme there, doesn’t there!) What a way to make an impression!
So what do you tell yourself when you have moments like this? Do you yell at yourself and say nasty things to yourself? This is what I told myself: “I just had a human moment.” We all have those moments. So having a cringe-worthy moment is just proof that you’re human and having an experience everyone has. I also told myself this: “Well, it makes you more relatable.” And that’s true, too. I have immediately demonstrated to people that I’m not perfect. And sometimes when people are seeing a therapist for the first time, they have a feeling that they might be being weighed, measured, and judged by the therapist. That’s an intimidating feeling! Once I’ve proven that I’m capable of embarrassing myself, it really takes some of that pressure away from my clients.
And that’s what I want for you to hold on to, as well. When you have human moments, that’s okay. Those moments actually make it more easy for people to relate to you. When you think about it, who is easier to find common ground with, a person who appears perfect or a person who makes mistakes? I argue it’s easier to feel connected to people who are imperfect because we know what that’s like. We have that in common. And we also know how it feels to be embarrassed, mortified, or wishing the ground would open up and swallow us. My wish for you is that the next time you have one of these moments, instead of beating yourself up, you look at it this kinder way. If nothing else, you might feel a bit better about it!
If you are struggling with human issues and would like to talk to a therapist who has, too, I invite you to give me a call or text me at 816-226-4678. We can arrange for a free 30-minute consultation or schedule a full session.